Three explorers, hunting truffles in the Amazon, get captured by a tribe of cannibals.

The tribe members carry the three men, bound with vines, to the village chief. The village chief speaks, and one of the tribesmen translates:

*We are the Omweso tribe. We are a tribe of cannibals, and it is our custom to skin you and eat you alive. We use your skins to make our canoes. But we are a modern tribe, so we will grant you one final request.*

The first explorer thinks: *I don't wanna be skinned alive!* and asks if he can have the pistol from their bags to shoot himself with.

The chief nods.

The tribesman rummages through the bag and pulls out the gun and the box of bullets. He takes one bullet out of the box and dumps the rest of the bullets into the river. The first explorer nods farewell to his friends, and blows his brains out.

The rest of the tribe carries his body away to begin skimming it and the chief turns to the second explorer.

The second explorer thinks: *I don't wanna be skinned alive! ...but there was only one gun... I've got it!* and asks for the bottle of poison from the poison tipped arrows the tribesman carry.

The chief nods.

The tribesman fetches a bottle and the second explorer drinks the whole thing and dies. The tribe members again carry his body off to skin.

The chief turns to the third explorer who looks him cooly in the eyes. Before the chief says anything the third explorer says: "I want the mess kit out of our bag."

The chief eyes him suspiciously, but nods.

The tribesman fetches the mess kit and gives it to the third explorer who opens it up immediately. He takes out the spoon and throws it onto the ground. He takes out the knife, looks at it, and throws it on the ground. Finally, he's left with the fork.

The third explorer looks at the chief, looks at the tribesman, looks at the tribe. Then, he begins stabbing his chest furiously and yells:

***YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE A CONOE OUTTA ME!!!***