The world's philosophers and theologians have gathered for a summit...

...held, dramatically enough, on the summit of an actual mountain. Everyone was having a great time, mingling together, discussing the great philosophical questions of the day.

Rumors started to swirl around about one particular holy man who had joined the day's festivities. This particularly wise sage was said to have unlocked the secrets to the most puzzling social and personal issues of their disciplines.

Obviously intrigued, several of the attendees approached the sage, who was seated cross-legged on a small mat, and engaged him in conversation.

"Excuse us, sir, but we have heard great stories about your accomplishments. Are the tales true? Have you found the answers to the questions of peace, love, and bliss?", said the crowd.

The sage replied, "well, my children, these questions are not as difficult to answer as one might think. For example, let us discuss the question of bliss. Surely a life of bliss seems a complicated and lofty goal, but it is one that can be achieved via a simple change in diet."

"A change in diet? What do you mean?", the crowd asked.

The sage responded, "many years ago, I tried to achieve a state of bliss by trying many different foods from all over the world. After several months, I noticed that a consistent diet of asparagus led me closer to a life of bliss than any other food. Asparagus, my children, is how one may achieve bliss."

The crowd stood stunned, but eventually replied, "Asparagus? What does that have to do with...."

At that exact moment, the skies opened up, and there was a torrential downpour of rain. People ran to and fro, but the entire gathering got completely soaked, as there was no shelter on the mountain summit.

Just as quickly as it started, however, the rain stopped, and the sun came back out to shine. As everyone was recovering from the sudden drenching, attention turned once again to the sage. He had sat through the entire storm, but was conspicuously bone dry.

"Surely the stories must be true! You must be a very holy man to have weathered the rain untouched! Share with us your secrets!", cried the crowd.

The sage motioned for them to come closer, and raised one finger as he spoke: "The answer, my children, is very simple."

"Bliss is the awning of the sage of asparagus."