The trial began for a woman who drugged her husband with tofu, cut off his penis, and threw it in the garbage disposal...

A hamburger walks...

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

Hey buddy.

Hey buddy. How late does the band play? About half a beat behind the drummer.

God's Watching

The teacher put two baskets of treats on her desk, a basket of apples and a...

how do you get...

blender!... how do you get them back out? ... doritos!

"Get your facts...

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you...

I thought of the...

As it turns out it already existed but i came to it on my own

Idiot!

You're so dumb, you staple in the middle of the paper!

Pictures from Police

A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated...

A man in a museum...

Manager: That vase was over a thousand years old! Man: Phew - I thought it...

What's the bright...

At least you get to start with an anonymous tip.