The talk is that they're having a secret affair, but nobody can prove it.
So Mildred goes to dinner one night to investigate. The house is immaculately clean, and everything seems above board. There is absolutely nothing suspicious going on. The two of them even have separate bedrooms on opposite ends of the house. Mildred goes home disappointed.
A few days later, right in the middle of a blustery Sunday sermon on honesty, the minister addresses Mildred. "I'm not saying you stole the ornate silver serving ladle from the dining room, but the fact remains that it's been missing since you were over for dinner!"
Mildred stands up and says, "Well, I'm not saying you are fucking your housekeeper, but the fact remains, if she'd been sleeping in her own bed, she would have found that goddamn ladle by now."
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