15. Women write in to reassure you that it's no big deal and that it happens to lots of men.
14. Cashiers refuse to accept your URL as photo ID.
13. It's no longer just your small circle of friends who know that you have no life.
12. You've just committed a murder and now you've got to kill all those pesky witnesses.
11. Ex-boyfriends always seem to know exactly which of their shirts and CDs you still have.
10. You get the eerie feeling you're being watched, even before you start doing bong hits.
9. Much harder to juggle both boyfriends *and* the girlfriend.
8. New higher resolution monitors compel more frequent dusting and vacuuming.
7. Faked orgasms now subject to critiques by impartial observers.
6. Email from strangers telling you you'll go blind from doing that.
5. The whole damn family logs on right when you start wrapping the Christmas presents.
4. You're playing solitaire, the phone rings, and it's some geek saying, "Play the red jack on the black queen."
3. The "visiting a sick friend" excuse doesn't quite work when millions of people know that you were really playing Freecell in your jammies.
2. Web-savvy Jehovah's Witnesses aren't fooled when you don't answer the door.
1. Rip-off artists in Toledo are living the exact same life as you without giving you credit.
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
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