A man is stranded in the desert; he is tired, hungry, thirsty, and on the verge of death. As he walks along, he sees a house! He can't believe his eyes! He runs up to the house, and wildly knocks on the door. A small Chinese man opens up the door.
"Please help me! I'm tired, hungry, thirsty, and I'm about to die out here!" pleads the man.
"Alright, I will help you" replies the Chinese man, "however, I have a catch. Under *no* circumstances may you look at my daughter. Otherwise, I will put you under the three Chinese tortures." Happy to have found somewhere, the man quickly accepts.
Later that night, the man, the Chinese man, and the Chinese man's daughter are eating dinner. The curiosity gets the better of the man, and he sneaks a look at the Chinese man's daughter.
Furiously, the Chinese man throws down his fork and yells "I told you! Now I must administer the three Chinese tortures!" The man thinks nothing of this Chinese man's threats, finished his dinner, and goes upstairs to sleep.
The next morning, the man wakes up with a moderately sized rock on his chest. On the rock is a note: "Chinese Torture Number 1: Rock on Chest". The man laughs it off, thinking these tortures would be nothing, and tosses the rock out the window.
Quickly after doing so, the man sees another note on his night stand. "Chinese Torture Number 2: Left Testicle tied to Rock". The man panics and wildly flings himself out the window after the rock.
As he falls, he notices a final note attached to his shirt.
"Chinese Torture Number 3: Right Testicle tied to Bedpost".
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