A man is speeding to get to work on time. Once he gets to the bridge he passes every day he sees a cop who has his speed radar gun aimed right at him. Fuck. The cop quickly turns his siren on and pulls the man over.
Cop: "Is there a reason you were speeding today, sir?"
Man: "Yes officer, it is very important that I am not late for work today.."
Cop: "What is it that you do that is so important?"
Man: "I am a rectum stretcher."
Cop, a little interested in what the man just told him: "What in the Hell does a rectum stretcher do!?"
Man: "Well I start with just one finger then stretch until I can fit a few more. Then, I continue stretching it until a can get my whole hand in there and then I keep going so it is a foot tall, then 2 feet and so on until I finally get it to about 6 feet tall."
Cop, now completely baffled by the man: "What the fuck would you do with a six foot tall asshole!?"
Man: "I would give him a radar gun and stick him at the end of a bridge so he can make people even more late for work."
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