The Queen's legs

A local in a small village in England was facing a predicament. He'd just opened a pub, yet came to find that all the names he'd wanted were taken; The Queen's head, The King's Arms, so on so forth. Until he realised nobody had named a pub after the Queen's legs, and as such, he choose to name his pub 'The Queen's legs'.

The new barman opened his pub and found it to be quite a success, being the only pub for miles around. Indeed 'The Queen's legs' attracted drinkers from all the local villages. Though the most memorable customer was Alan.

Now Alan was a quiet man, he kept to himself most days and nobody really knew where he was from, but he would come to the pub every day, rain or shine at exactly 8.00am, and would wait for one hour on the bench outside the church for the pub to open.

Now the local bobby, a nice, respectable man named Peter noticed this. Every day on his morning rounds he saw Alan there, waiting on the bench. Peter had never seen him before, and never saw him elsewhere, and Peter prided himself on knowing everyone that lived in the village. One day, his curiosity got the better of him. He rolled down the window and said "Mornin' sir, might I ask what it is you're doing out here? Only I've been seeing you a lot recently"

To which Alan replied "Morning mate! don't mind me, i'm just waiting for the Queen's legs to open so I can go in and 'ave a drink!"