A classy bar is holding auditions for musical numbers, when a somewhat disheveled man comes in and starts playing a beautiful number on the grand piano. The manager adores his performance, "Is that an original number? What is the name of that lovely piece?"
"Yeah, I wrote it," the man replies as he slicks his hair."It's called 'I fucked my cousin with a corkscrew'."
"What!? can you play something else for us?"
"Sure, how's about 'Daddy diddle me with a dildo'?" The man starts playing.
The manager so visibly flustered can't begin to speak, but soon the wonderful music wins him over. He hires the pianist but only under the condition that he never announces the names of his songs.
One night when the man returns from his break, a young lady in a table near the piano says to him, "Um sir, do you know, your dick is out dribbling piss everywhere?"
"*Know it?*" The man smiles, "**I wrote it!**"
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