The pension office demanded my 86 year old grandfather prove his age.

He had no copy of his birth certificate and his driver's license had long since expired. But, he went to the office and demanded to see his administrator. He took off his hat, showed his white hair and balding head and said, "There, is that proof enough I'm old enough to receive a pension?" The administrator agreed and cut him his check. He proudly returned home to show grandmother and she said, "Great, but you should have taken off your pants and shown him your willy too, you would have got disability benefits."

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