The only clean joke Michael Caine could think of to tell the Queen.

I remember this joke from a TV interview I saw with Michael Caine about 20 years ago, and it's stuck with me:


A telemarketer calls a house and a little girl answers the phone:

Little girl (LG): \*quiet voice* *"Hello?"*

Telemarketer (TM) "Hello there and good day, would you mother be available to talk to?"

(LG) \*quiet voice* *"No, she's busy at the moment.*"

TM: "Oh, okay, would your father be there at all?"

(LG) \*quiet voice* *"No, he's busy at the moment as well."*

TM: "Right, is there someone else over the age of 18 there?"

(LG) \*quiet voice* *"There's my uncle..."*

TM: "Oh? Can I speak to your uncle please?"

(LG) \*quiet voice* *"No, he's busy at the moment.*

TM: "Well then, who else is there right now?"

(LG) \*quiet voice* *"My aunt is here too."*

TM: "Great, can you put your aunt on the phone then?"

(LG) \*quiet voice* *"I'm sorry, she's busy at the moment."*

TM: "Well then, who else is in the house?"

(LG) \*quiet voice* *"There's our next door neighbour"*

TM: Right, I'll have a chat to him if you don't mind?"

(LG) \*quiet voice* *"He's busy right now too."*

The telemarketer is starting to get a little frustrated, he's had a shit day, hasn't made any sales, and he's keen to get get one on the board before he goes home, so he asks the little girl:

TM: "Are the any other adults there?"

(LG) \*quiet voice* *"There's a policeman, a fireman, and there's a priest"*

Unable to contain it any longer, the telemarketer's curiosity and frustration get the better of him:

TM: "What the *hell* are all those people doing at your house, and why are they all too busy to talk to me right now!?

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(LG) \*quiet voice* *"They're looking for me..."*