The Microsoft Cheesecake

A guy walks into the Microsoft Shop.

Guy: I'd like a cheesecake, please.

Receptionist: Sure.

The receptionist hands him a block of cheese.

Guy: Umm... This is just the cheese. Where's the cake?

Rec: You have to purchase that seperately.

Guy: What the ----? What kind of product are you trying to sell me? Oh well.

Rec: Good. I knew you'd understand.

The Rec hands him the cake.

Guy: So... What do I do with the cheese and the cake?

Rec: You blend it.

Guy: With what?

The Rec hands him a blender.

The guy puts the cheese and the cake into the blender and blends it.

Guy: Now I have a bunch of liquid. What do I do with it?

Rec: Oh ---- you retard, you're supposed to exchange the cake for the batter first.

Guy: For the sake of Pete, what the ----? Fine. Let's start over. So I get the cheese and I get the cake. Then I exchange the cake for the batter, right?

Rec: Yep.

The guy blends it.

Guy: Right... I'm still stuck with a load of liquid.

Rec: You're supposed to cook it.

Guy: With what?

Rec: With this full-sized oven.

Guy: What the ----?

Rec: Yep.

The guy cooks the cheesecake.

Guy: Hey Rec! My cake is hot! Aren't cheesecakes supposed to be frozen?

Rec: Yeah, you need to put it in that freezer behind you for 24 hours. Since you're not an employee, it costs $1 a minute to use it.

Guy: You mean I'm supposed to pay $1440 to freeze my cake?

Rec: Wow! You're good at math! And, yes.

The guy puts his cheesecake in the freezer, pays his over-inflated bill, and leaves.


The next day, he comes back and finds the cake gone.

Guy: What happened to my cheesecake?

Rec: Well, you see, at lunch about an hour ago, there was this guy who was still hungry and saw the cheesecake and ate it.



On a completely unrelated note, the guy's brother bought a computer from Microsoft.

GB: How do I type my work?

Rec: Install Office.

GB: Sure.

GB: Umm... how do I install it?

Rec: You use a CD.

GB: Oh. Whoops, I jammed my cubicle into my case instead. Let's start over. So, I buy the computer and I install Office using a CD. Umm... I don't get how to do it.

Rec: You put the CD in the drive and let it Autorun.

GB: What the ---- is a drive?

Rec: Why don't you leave your computer here and let us do it for you?

GB: Sure.

The guy's brother leaves the computer and goes home.


The next day, he comes back.

GB: Yeah, I left my computer here yesterday?

Rec: No, there's no record of that. There was an extra computer here yesterday, so the shipping people shipped it off to CraCom.

GB: CraCom? As in CrappyCompany? It went bankrupt 2 hours ago!

Rec: Oh, I'm sorry. Would you care to buy a notebook?

GB: I already have one in my pocket, thanks.