The man with no enemies.

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"  Almost everyone held up their hands, but some were hesitant.

So the minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes.

"Mr. Barnes, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual.  How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The 
congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"So, Mr. Barnes, would you please  come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the  aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, “I outlived all them assholes!"

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