The Man with an Orange for a Head

A man, walking out on the street, steps inside a bar because it starts to rain. He's not in any rush, so he figures this would be a good a way to kill some time. As he walks in, he notices that there is a person sitting at the bar with a giant orange as a head.

He goes to the other side of the bar and waves over the bartender.

"Hey, man. What's up with the guy with the orange head?"

The bartender laughs. "Yeah, everyone seems curious about that, no doubt. Problem is, he doesn't really like talking about it. Not unless you buy him his favorite drink."

"That's fine! I just want to know this guys story. What does he take?"

"Rum and cola."

"Okay. I'll take two of those."

The bartender prepares both the drinks and hands them to the man, he walks over and sits down next to the man with the orange head. He puts one drink in front of him.

"I suppose you want to know how I got this orange head, huh?"

"If it's not too much trouble," the man says.

"I guess I can share one more time. I worked as an accountant for years and years. Probably more than you could imagine. I was making a pretty poor living for myself, and I was very lonely. Being overworked for some years can really have an negative impact on a man, so I decided to take a vacation. I wanted to go some place with beaches, so I went to Hawaii. Typical, I know, but I had never been. The first day I'm there I take a walk on a big beach on the main island. As I'm walking along I stub my toe on something in the sand. I bend down to pick it up, and much to my surprise it's a genie lamp."

"A genie lamp?" the other man says, "Come on. You're kidding, right?"

"I have an orange for a head and you're questioning THAT?"

"I suppose you're right. Sorry, go ahead."

"Anyways, I rub the lamp and a genie pops out, obviously. Just like the stories, he said to me 'You can have three wishes!' My first wish, obviously, was to be rich beyond my wildest dreams. Then, right at that moment, I felt something really heavy in my pockets. Hundreds of dollars in cash, a few new ATM cards loaded with millions, and keys to a new house and a new car."

"Jesus, that's incredible! What was your next wish?"

"I told you I was very lonely, right? Well I wanted a companion, someone to love. So I wished to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world. As soon as the last words left my lips, out of the water comes the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my entire life. Absolutely gorgeous. The genie married us right then and there. It was absolutely wonderful. I had never been happier in my entire life."

"Well, Greg, this is definitely one of the most bizarre and incredulous stories I've ever heard. You've gotta finish it."

"Well, to be honest, all those things kind of went away with my orange head. I spent millions on reconstructive surgery and research to try and get rid of it, and my new wife wouldn't even look at me."

"Alright, you've gotta tell me about the head."

"Well, that's where I kind of fucked up. My third wish was for an orange head."