Back in the soviet days a little old lady was sitting on a bench by the Red square, reading a book entitled "Teach yourself Hebrew". A police officer was walking by, saw the book and decided to make some trouble for the lady.
"Why does an old crone like you want to learn Hebrew?" he demanded.
"Well, you see officer, I am already very old and I will probably not live for much longer, so I thought I might as well prepare myself by learning the language of heaven."
"Ha!" scoffed the police officer, "what makes you think that you'll be going to heaven, you silly old hag?"
The lady retorted "You're right, officer, I have actually no idea where I will end up. I may just as well end up in hell, however as it happens to be I already speak Russian."
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