The Godfather Was Dying

The Godfather was dying.

He summoned one of his godsons and said softly, "Mikey, before I go, I gotta ask one favor."

"Yes, godfather, anything," said Mikey. "I worship you." The old man's eyes narrowed. "I want you to go to my bathroom and masturbate."

The lad looked around uneasily. "I dunno, boss. That's kinda embarrassing." "Who raised you as if you were my own?" demanded the Godfather. "This one thing you can't do for me?"

The young man realized his error and agreed to the request. When he returned, the old man said, "One more request?"

"Sure, godfather, anything," said Mikey.
"Do it again!"

"What? I just did it," protested Mikey. "Who gave you money, clothes, girls, huh? And you can't do this one little thing for me?" asked the Godfather.

Again Mikey agreed and was soon back. "Okay, I'm done," he told the Godfather.

"One last request," said the Godfather. "Do it once more."
"I don't understand, Godfather," said Mikey. "Why?"

"What? You can't grant a dying man his last wish?" said the Godfather. Mikey was gone a long while this time, but eventually he staggered back to the bedside.

"I did it, Godfather, but, please, no more. I got nothing left."

"Good!" said the old man, handing him his car keys. "Now go pick up my daughter at the airport!"