The big date

Johnny's parents were sitting at the kitchen table when Johnny came rushing in the back door door, whizzing past and said, "Hi Mom, hi Dad" as he headed upstairs in an apparent rush. The mom looked at the dad and said, "Wonder what he's up to? You'd better check". With that the father headed upstairs to Jonny's room.

" What's going on Johnny?". Johnny obviously excited said, "Dad, remember that hot cheerleader I told you about? Well I am having dinner at her parents house and then we're going to the movies!!"

Dad said, "That's great Johnny! But you know, we've never really discussed the, er birds and the bees thing.." Johnny interrupted , "Dad we had this discussion in 9th grade science class. I know ALL about it!"....

"Well Johnny, you know that we're a deeply religious family and don't believe in premarital sex, but I also know how the world is, so even though I DO NOT condone it, please be sure you have a condom.....and DON'T tell your mom I said this. Just be very careful son". Johnny said, " Jeez dad, I'm not stupid" and with that told his dad he had to get showered and leave because dinner was in an hour!

On the way to his date's house, Johnny heeded his father's advice and went into the local drugstore. He went to the back counter where they kept the condoms and asked the pharmacist, "Excuse me sir, do you have any profolactics?". The old man looked at him and said, " how old are you boy?" To which Johnny replied, "17 sir". The pharmacist muttered under his breath, " what is the world coming to these days...." What kind do you want boy?"...."I don't care sir, just a strong one". The man flicked a pack on the counter. Johnny snatched the pack and rushed to this front register to pay. Glad to be on his way, Johnny quick!y walked the half dozen blocks to his date's home, excited about the evening's prospects.

Johnny rang the doorbell. His soon-to-be date's mother answered the door and said, "You must be Johnny! Suzy has been talking about you all afternoon come in! We'll be having dinner soon and Suzy will be down in a few minutes, feel free to watch TV" and with what she disappeared into the kitchen.

Johnny now was starting to feel a little nervous, wondering when Suzy would appear. Several minutes pass and finally the girl of his dreams is standing in front of him. "Hi Johnny! Sorry I made you wait so long, I had trouble figuring out what to wear" As if on cue, Suzy's mom said, "I know you guys have a movie to catch so let's go to the dining room so you can eat and get out of here.

Suzy's father and mother entered the dining room. The father giving Johnny a stern looking review. Johnny was now obviously nervous. His date squeezed his hand and whispered, "don't let him bother you, he must have had a bad day".

As they seated, the mother said, "Johnny, we're a deeply religious family and we always give thanks for our meals by saying grace". Johnny said, " Can I say the grace?" Suzy looked surprised, then a bit proud as Johnny began to pray.

Johnny started praying in a very low and indiscernible pattern. Mumbling and unintelligible, nearly under his breath. Mother looked at father thru one open eye, then at her daughter as Johnny continued to go on and on and on, when finally, Suzy leaned over and whispered to Johnny, "I didn't know you were religious?" .....Johnny whispered in return, "I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!"