Steve is going out for his buddy's bachelor party. It's been planned for months. He gets home from work and quickly starts getting ready. His lady, Tina, surprises him with a fancy dress shirt for the big night. "Aw thanks babe, it's amazing". She tells him it was really expensive but "he's worth it and it's a big night".
He leaves and meets the lads at the bar. No time for food, apparently and they dive straight into shooters. 8 shots in, no food and Steve stands up and pukes all over his shirt. "Awwwww damn....dammit all....". His buddy says "Steve, it's just a little puke, don't worry man". Steve explains that it's a new shirt from Tina and she'll be pissed.
Buddy says "don't worry dude, give me a $20 bill". Steve fumbles for his wallet and hands him a crisp 20. His buddy tucks it into Steve's pocket on the shirt and says "when you get home, just tell Tina some dude at the bar puked on your shirt and gave you $20 to clean it!". They both love the idea!
Steve eventually gets home at 5am. Lost his keys, his phone...he's a total drunk mess. Knocks on the door and Tina slowly opens it. One look at his messy shirt and she starts freaking. "I bought you ONE NICE SHIRT and you puke all over it??!!".
Steve taps his pocket on the shirt..."no no babe, some dude at the bar puked on my shirt and gave me $20 to clean it". She reaches in and pulls out $40. Surprised, she asks "what's the extra $20 for?".
Oh...he also took a shit in my pants.
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