So when I was an altar boy when I was a kid...

...and its not all that you'd think it would be. Contrary to popular belief, an aletrboy's true purpose is to put up with the priests shit, and to pick up the slack when he drops the ball. Anyway, one day I was sweeping the chapel floor when i heard somebody whisper my name. I looked around and saw the Father beaconing me toward the confessional.
He had been listening to this one woman for an hour, and really, really, needed a bathroom break. He asked me if i could take over for a second so he had time to slip out and take a piss. "But I wouldn't know what to do." I told him. But he slipped out of the confessional nonetheless and started hurrying toward the bathroom. "Don't worry, its easy" he called back "I have a cheat sheet in the booth, just listen to the sin, look at the sheet and give the appropriate penance." What was I to do? I got in and listed to this woman's confession, and looked at the cheat sheet and gave penance. Simple, just like Father had said. But soon she began talking about how she had given a blow job to a stranger and that stumped me. I looked and looked but there was nothing on the sheet about bj's. I peaked out of the booth in hopes I would see the priest returning, but there was no such luck. The only other person in the chapel was one of my friends, another alterboy. Paniced, I called him over and asked what the Father usually gives for blow jobs. My friend looked at me and said sheepishly, "usually a Snickers bar and a pat on the head."