So this guy named Dave is at a swanky bar...

So this guy named Dave is at a swanky bar. It's at the top of a 60 floor building. Dave's drinking alone at the bar when the elevator opens. This guy gets off the elevator, orders 6 beers, slams them, walks over to the ledge, and jumps off. Dave sits stock still in shock until he hears the elevator open again. He looks over and it's the guy that just jumped off the building. The guy walks up to the bar, orders 6 beers, slams them, walks over to the ledge, and jumps off. Dave is freaking the fuck out now. He starts having a panic attack, then he hears the elevator open. He looks over and sees the same guy get off. Dave decides to ask him how he survived both jumps. The guy says, "Beer's carbonated, right? So, if you drink a bunch of beers really fast, and you jump off something really high up, you just kinda float down."

"Really?" Dave says, "I gotta try this!" So Dave orders 6 beers, drains them as fast as he can, walks over to ledge, and jumps off. He smashes into the asphalt and dies on impact. The bartender turns to the guy and says,

"You can be a real asshole when you're drunk, Superman."

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