And a great singer, too. He's got an audition at the local piano bar. He performs his first song, and the manager is blown away.
"Wow! What's the name of that song?" he asks.
"It's called, 'I fucked your mom on Tuesday last week.'" the man replies.
"Oh, well, can I hear another song?" the manager asks.
The man plays a song that's even better than the first.
"And what's that one called?"
"That's called, 'I ejaculated in the ranch dressing at the salad bar.'"
So the manager hires the guy with the agreement that he doesn't tell the audience the titles of his songs lest they're offended. His first night playing comes, and it's a smash. The women in the audience are going crazy for him. During his intermission he starts to get all hot and bothered thinking about all the women that want him, so he decides to go rub one out in the men's room. When he's all done, he comes out, and a woman comes up to him and says, "Sir! Do you know your zipper is down and there's cum all over your pants?!"
The man says, "Know it? I **wrote** it!!!"
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