So Mike is this straight-laced corporate workaholic...

...whose only passions in life are job, family, and the gym.

So for his 30'th birthday the wife decides to take him someplace a little racey - just so he can let his hair down and have some unconventional fun for a change.

"Oh let's NOT go here!", begged Mike as the cab pulls in front of the local "Gentleman's Club" on his cake day. "Let's just go have a nice dinner someplace quiet."

But the wife isn't having it. She's going to get him into the club come Desert fucking Storm. The entire time she's got him by his coat sleeves and pulling him toward the entrance, Mike cannot stop complaining and offering alternative spots.

"Hey Mike - how's it going!" - says the Club's doorman.

The wife stops for a second. "Mike - have you been here before?"

Mike takes a deep breath and retorts: "No. No. He's just a guy who works out with me at the Gym - but let's go someplace else..."

The wife is undettered. Before you know it, they're giving their coats to the girl at the coat-check. "Hiiiii Mike" sings the checkout girl.

The wife shoots Mike a look and does a half-smile. "You suuuuuure you haven't been here before?"

Mike lets out a breath of exasperation. "She's the girl who signs people in at the gym honey. Nothing more!"

The wife seems to buy it, but clearly some doubts are starting to set in.

So they get inside and sit down to enjoy the show. The wife looks rather intrigued by the entertainment, but Mike seems super uncomfortable.

This perfectly titted, topless little cocktail waitress comes over to take the drink orders. "The usual gin and tonic Mike?"

At this point the wife starts to come unhinged. "Mike?? The Usual gin and tonic!? Am I the LAST person on the planet to find out you drink and hang out in strip clubs??!!! Tell me I'm not Mike!!"

Mike complies. "No you're not honey! I mean, she's an aerobics instructor at the gym! And..."

Now the wife is hurt and angry. She starts to storm out of the place while Mike follows - with lame explanations.

The wife starts emoting. "You know, I could accept that you drink behind my back and stuff a few bucks down the g-strings of underage sluts in seedy clubs all over the city every now and again!!"

"But DON'T lie to my fucking face like I'm a god-damned idiot!"

Mike is now profusely apologizing and trying to smooth things over. His explanations keep getting lamer and lamer as the wife hails a cab. She gets in. Mike follows right in behind her.

As the wife continues her verbal assault, the cab driver starts laughing.

She turns her wrath on the poor hapless cabby. "You know, you can just go ahead and mind your own fucking business any time now!!!"

The cabby smiles broadly as he looks at Mike in his rear view mirror.

"Hell of a bitch you picked up tonight Mike."