So I was walking along a beach...

...when I saw a girl with no arms and no legs. She caught my eye and said to me, "I've never been kissed by someone before..."
Feeling sympathetic, I obliged and was about to go on my way when the girl, sensing her chance said: "I've never been fucked by anyone before."

So I picked her up, threw her in the ocean, and shouted "Now you're fucked, you can't swim!"

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