Screwing in a lightbulb

How many Zombies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because they wouldn't fit and zombies don't screw.

 

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Thirty-one. One to hold the bulb and 30 to drink until the room spins!

 

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because the bulb already contains the seeds of revolution.

 

Why did the hipster burn his hand?

He tried to change the bulb before it was cool.

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