Saint Peter is at the gates of Heaven. He's had too much coffee and now needs to use the bathroom.

He sees Jesus walking by and stops him.

"Jesus, thank goodness your here. I have a favor to ask. Can you watch the gate while I use the bathroom?"

Jesus, ecstatic at the chance to help says, "Of course... But what do I do?"

"Its simple, as people come up you must check their names to see if they are in this book I have. If they are then welcome them in! If not, turn them away." And with that Peter leaves to exorcise his bowels.

Jesus waits for some time and eventually an elderly man walks up to him. Jesus greets him energetically and asks his name.

The old man looks dismayed. "I was hit on the head when i died... I don't remember it."

"well sir," says Jesus, "tell me about yourself! Perhaps I can guess it?"

The old man's brow furrows in thought. "all I can remember is I was a carpenter and my son was beloved my millions of people.

Now Jesus begins to choke up at this.

"Dad... Daddy?"

The old man looks hard at Jesus and says

"Pinnochio!?"