Ralph was called in for a meeting with the IRS

Ralph was called in for a meeting with the IRS, so he turns up for the meeting with his accountant. The tax clerk says to him "You wrote on your tax return that you make your money by gambling, but we find that quite hard to believe."
"No, it's true! I'm really good at it. Look, I can prove it! I bet you $250 that I can bite my eye."
The clerk thinks it over, and says "Ok, you're on."
Ralph takes out his glass eye, bites it and puts it back.
"You got me there," said the clerk.
"No, I'm better than that! Let's go double or nothing. Another $250 that I can bite my other eye."
The clerk, seeing that Ralph is clearly not blind, thinks that he's bluffing, and takes the bet.
Ralph takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye.
"Wow. I wasn't expecting that," said the clerk.
"Ok, I'll give you a chance to win your money back. I bet you $500 that I can stand on your desk, piss into your trashcan and not spill one drop on the floor."
The clerk spends a long time thinking about this, examining the distance from the desk to the bin, and concludes that there's no way Ralph will win this bet. "You're on" he says.
Ralph gets up on the desk, pulls down his pants and pisses all over the clerk's desk. All over his files, on his computer and everything. The clerk is ecstatic top have won his money back. In the corner, Ralph's accountant let out a loud groan. "What's wrong?" asks the clerk.
"This morning Ralph bet me $1000 that he could piss all over your desk and you'd be happy about it!"