Michelle: Barry, where is this coming from? This is very sudden! Our marriage has been very happy even under all the stress of this presidency.
Obama: I've been in the closet about this for a while, but I have such a man crush for Diamond Joe. I want to have a relationship with him too. But don't worry, I will love you.
Michelle: This is very sudden. What would it even look like?
Obama: Well, I don't know. We would still spend a lot of time together. But we could also have dank threesomes. And smoke plenty of weed. Lots of salt about how this election played out.
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