An old favorite of mine.
A man is sitting in the waiting area of a bus depot when another man sits next to him, shaking his head and gently chuckling. Unable to keep his amusement to himself, he turns to the first man and asks "have you ever had one of those moments where you mean to say one thing but you accidentally say something else?" The first man nods, and the second man motions toward a busty young woman at the ticket counter. "A few moments ago when I was at the counter, I meant to ask the young lady for one ticket to Pittsburgh, but I accidentally asked for one *picket* to *Titsburg*.
The two men share a laugh, and the first man nods his head. "Something like that happened to me just this morning when I was having breakfast with my wife," he says. "I meant to ask, 'dear, can you pass the milk?,' but when I opened my mouth what came out was 'bitch, you've ruined my life.'"
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