Q. What's better than winning the gold at the Paralympics?
A. Having both your legs.
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Two gay guys were driving down the street when a truck comes around the corner and hits them. One of them jumps out of the car and yells at the burly tatooed truck driver "We're gonna sue sue sue!" The truck driver growls back "Aww suck my cock!" The gay guy turns to his companion and says "OOhh, I think we can settle this out of court!"
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Q. What did George Michale sing at Elton John's wedding?
A. Don't let your son go down on me.
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Q. What is Al Qaida's favorite football team?
A. The New York Jets
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Q. What did Prince Charles say to O.J.?
A. "Now, that's how it's done"
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A guy walks into a bar and sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the bar. So he slides up next to her and introduces himself. When she looks up at him, he notices she's got a huge shiner on her left eye. "Oh great", he thinks to himself, "she doesn't listen."
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A waiter at a Chinese restaurant got married. He wanted to please his new bride in bed, so he told her, "Anything you want, please tell me."
She looked at him coyly and said, "I would like 69."
He looked back at his bride with confusion. "You want the beef with broccoli?"
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