He said "A very troubling thing has happened. Plaintiff has sent me one point five million dollars in an attempt to secure a favorable verdict."
The plaintiff's lawyer looks crestfallen and the other lawyer beams in satisfaction.
The judge then says "Don't look so smug. Respondent has sent me one point two million dollars and a Mercedes."
Both lawyers stare at the judge, horrified. The judge passes a set of keys to one lawyer and a check to the other.
"Having returned one Mercedies and $300,000 to the respective parties, the case will now proceed on its merits."
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