[NSFW] (language) The man with the timber eye

There's a fellow out there who's quite attractive-- by most standards, he'd be a perfect 10. But he has one flaw-- he's missing an eye, and he's too poor to afford a good prosthetic, so he's had it replaced with painted timber. It's a reasonably good job, and it's comfortable, but it's still clear that he's missing the one eye.

He's very self-conscious about it, but he's also quite lonely. One evening he works up the courage to go out to the bar and try to meet a girl. While he's there, he's intimidated by every woman and simply can't work up the courage to talk to anyone. Then, he spots a woman who is absolutely stunning-- but like him, she has a flaw that draws the eye. Her mouth is sideways on her face.

He's excited-- here, finally, is someone who can understand what he's going through! She's also beautiful, save for her one little flaw!

He approaches her and starts talking to her. They hit it off instantly, and at the end of the night he asks, "Would you like to come home with me?"

She replies, "Would I!"

He shouts back, "Hey, don't call me Wood Eye, Cunt Face!"

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