NASA's budget has dramatically increased by 1000 times it was last year.(non seirous duel party joke)

January 1st 2015

NASA and reasonable science enthusiasts has for decades been begging the capital hill for an increase in funds to do what they need to be able to do, and capital hill replied for decades "We'll think about it." Now it has happened at an unexpected rate. An earlier agreement that capital hill head among both parties was to fund various projects towards the development of the "international space station" for what is said to be for both scientific and diplomatic reasons.


When asking the two party representitives the following statements were made. The democratic party stated "we hope that we can find a way to create a habitat planet for the humpback whales since the world will be uninhabitable by any living thing throughout the entire history of time since that one guy won't stop smoking, despite it adding calories when he does."
The conservative represented had this to say. "We really hope that this new deal would be able to bring about diplomatic relations with the world's hippies and deadbeats for future lsnd, i mean money, I mean voters... favors? Yes favors, let's go with that." When the president was asked about why he didn't veto the bill he said "I understand how this is a huge concern among my fans er American people, and want to better reflect how I the popular, er president would be willing to accommodate. Perhaps we can use this to move towards a brighter future of political conduct such as how long, er any given president should be in term. Further.. huuuh... what does the prompter say it turned off. Oh there it goes. Further we want to make sure that everyone is as happy as they can be with our policies.


Certain items pertaining to the project funds were specified to be used including but not limited to:
*moon dust converting to water
*targeting systems with several tetrameters of reach with accuracy
*moon dust converting to "what whales breath if not water"
*machines to monitor money transactions on a global scale
*moon dust converting to "what whales eat if not water"
*machines to scan people's voting records on a global scale to determine statistics and effect voting fraud.
and many more.

It's about time government realized that the NASA program needed to have a better budget, and I as I non inspecting reporter feel perfectly fine with the potential changes that can occur.