My wife walked in on me last night and shouted, "What the hell are you doing with that ivory and gold dress?"

A blind man walks...

He turns to the man at the counter and says, "Hi Ralph, I am a blind man."...

What time does...

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what...

yo mamma's so ugly

Yo mamma's so ugly when she looks out of the window she gets arrested.

Why don't...

They already make a lot of money.

Jared Fogle got...

But officer, she told me she was 18!

Why did the...

Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the edge of a cliff? -- He...

You know what...

They moo in mysterious waves

What's the...

A zit waits until you're 12 before it comes on your face

Why do tampons...

So you can floss your teeth with them after you've used them.

A hamburger walks...

And the bartender says "sorry but we don't serve food here"!