My wife has an alcohol problem

Everytime I come home drunk, she's making a big scene. My friend Tom said I should just put 50$ into my pocket, so I did.

Yesterday I came home drunk as fuck and she was all raging again:

**She**: "Your shirt is a complete smelly puke puddle again, how am I going to get the puke stains out of your clothing again"

**Me**: "How how, hold on, it was Tom that puked all over me, to apologize he even gave me 50$"

**She**: "That's 100$ you're holding"

**Me**: "Yeah, he also shit my pants"

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