My friend just got married, and now he wants to sell his 47 volume Encyclopedia Britannica. He says he doesn't need it.

What do you do to...

"It may not be long, but it sure is skinny"

My wife likes to...

She's a fat cow.

What's worse than...

10 dead babies in a trash can. What's worse than 10 dead babies in a trash...

Why was the...

Because he fingered a minor.

Manager: I'll...

Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds...

Dumb Fucks

"Look at that dumb fuck, Daddy," said my 3-year-old from his car seat....

What do you call...

Doug

Who is the...

Daniel Morcombe

Chips

Knock-knock! Who's there? Chips. Chips who? Chips Ahoy!

M&M Job

Yo momma is so stupid, she got fired from an M&M factory for throwing away...