My friend asked me why I haven't texted him in such a long while, I replied, "My phone screen broke and now it's completely unusable...

Dirty Old Man

What do you call a dirty old man who lives in a box? Your dad!

What are the 5...

Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show...

What do you find...

Holy shit!

The difference...

In Indiana there are lots of budding young farmers. In California there are...

I bought a second...

When I asked for an update, they said they were still dealing with my order.

What does...

Olive Oil

What medicine do...

Assprin.

A Buddhist monk...

The monk says, "Make me one with everything."

Dumb Blonde

A dumb blonde is about to have a baby, she asks the doctor if he can already...

What's dumber...

The hippie that carries them around the country.