Must be told in a horrible, thick Italian accent

So I heard this joke a couple of years ago, I think it's much older than that though. Read it out loud in a very bad, thick Italian accent.

So, Vincenzo, my cousin in America invites me to stay with him, so I say, 'Okay, I'va never been to America, I'ma come over.

I get offa da plane and I'ma hungry. I go down to a breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She bring me only one piss. I tell her I wanna two pisses. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna va bitch. I don't even know the lady and she calla me a sonna va bitch!

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress she bring me a spoon and knife but no fock, I tell her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand, I wanna fock onna table. She say you better no fock onna table, you sonna va bitch. I not even know this woman, and she call me a sonna va bitch.

So I go back to my room inna hotel and there isa no shit onna ma bed. I call the manager and I tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna shit onna my bed. He say you better no shit onna bed, you sonna va bitch.

I finally run into Vincenzo and he say, "Peace on you". I say "Piss onna you too, you sonna va bitch. I gonna back to Italy"