Read this a while ago, still probably my favourite joke, and felt I should share it for those who haven't seen it before.
A lawyer gets home after a long trial in which it was decided his client-Mr Wright-would be hanged later that night. He is greeted at the door by his wife.
"You're home late. And you're tracking mud all over the place...For gods sake, take off your shoes!"
"Look, I've had a hard day at work, can you just leave me alone?"
After some mumbling from his wife, the lawyer walks upstairs to take a bath. A while later, the phone rings, and the wife answers, to be greeted by her husbands boss, who explains that due to the appearance of new evidence, Mr Wright isn't going to be hanged that night. Realising what a hard day her husband must have had, she goes upstairs to tell her husband the news, she opens the bathroom door to see her husband bending over drying his feet, balls dangling between his legs.
"They're not hanging Wright tonight"
"GOD DAMN IT WOMAN, CAN YOU JUST STOP CRITICISING ME FOR ONE MINUTE!?"
EDIT: Thanks for the grammar check.
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.