Each night before bed, Maury, a very pious jewish man, would kneel by his bed and pray to the Lord. "Lord, please let me win the lottery." Night after night he knelt, prayed to the lord, with no results the following day. Years went by, decades passed, each night the same prayer to God, "Lord, please let me win the lottery." One particular night, Maury knelt, prayed, then paused. "Lord, I am a devout Jew, I go to temple each week, why have you forsaken me and not granted me my only wish in this life?" The heaven's parted, and the voice of God boomed down from the heavens, "MAURY, YOU HAVE TO BUY A FUCKING TICKET!!"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.