Man at a motel in the middle of nowhere

This joke is actually best heard in Hindi, let's see how well it does translated.

A man is staying in a room at a motel at night in the middle of nowhere, on his way to a different city. Being the only establishment as far as the eye can see, let's just say the management is lax about basic upkeep and maintenance.

As the man is lying in his moldy bed at night tossing and turning, he realizes the gas-station burrito he's had earlier is going to make a second entrance. He goes to the bathroom, as it were, sees that the "toilet" is a hole in the ground that's boarded shut, there is nothing in the way of water supply and toilet paper is a desperate dream.

The stress of the situation starts manifesting itself on his bowels and he feels that inevitable rumbling in his butt. Looking around frantically and finding nothing to help him, he unzips his carry bag, pulls out a single sock, positions it, and lets the demon turd out. Suddenly feeling better, he even has the time to marvel at the relief flooding through him like he is flooding his sock. Done, he stands up, looks at the sock not knowing what to do with it, and hangs it on one of the more crooked blades of the ceiling *fan* and goes back to bed.

In the middle of the night he wakes up covered in sweat, and jabs the conveniently placed bed-side fan button, and conks off the moment the first wisps of cool air hit his sweaty body.

The next morning he's greeted by the nastiest stench that wakes him up scowling, but the shit-mural on all four of his walls is what sobers him up in a hurry. He takes down the offending sock, cleans as much gunk off himself and his belongings and the bed as possible, then calls the up the cleaning lady, and tells her sheepishly, "I'll give you $200 to clean this up and keep it a secret." She turns to him and says, "I'll give you $500 if you tell me how you managed to shit on the wall sideways."

Edit: ceilings don't have pans.