[Long] Vinny comes to America

A man named Vinny comes to America from Italy and applies for citizenship. To become an American citizen Vinny has to go to court and stand in front of a judge.

Vinny brings his whole family to the courtroom to cheer him on. They are a very loud and rambunctious Italian family.
Vinny stands in front of the judge and the judge says, "Ok Vinny, before you become an American citizen I have to ask you a few questions about American history"

Vinny very confidently says, "Hey, not a problem judge." As he looks back to his family, he can see that they are all very excited and waiting with eager anticipation.

The judge says "Ok Vinny, who was the first president of the United States?"

Vinny responds, "Oh judge, that's-a easy one... George-a Washington!"

Immediately Vinny's whole family stands up and erupts into applause. You can hear "Hey Vinny!" "That-a boy!" "Way to go!"
The judge puts his hands up "Ok, ok, everybody calm down... Second question, when was the Declaration of Independence signed?"

Vinny confidently pulls on his collar a bit, put his hands out in front of him, and says "Judge, another easy one... 1776!"
Once again his family erupts, making more noise than the last time. "Way to go Vinny!" "That-a boy!"

"Calm down, calm down" says the judge.

At this point Vinny is pretty confident. He is looking back at his family, giving them a couple of "Hey-yo, howya doins" and they are loving it.

It seems as if the judge has lost all control of the courtroom. The family is on their feet and Vinny is in love with himself.

The judge says, "Ok Vinny last question."

"Not-a problem judge" Vinny replies.

The judge kind of smirks, knowing there is no way that Vinny gets this one. He says, "Who assassinated Abraham Lincoln?"

The crowd goes silent.

Vinny is looking around with his head down, clearly very distraught. It becomes very apparent that Vinny will not get the answer to this one.

Vinny nervously grabs his collar and replies, "Hey-a judge... well I-a... I don't know that one."

His family erupts in the biggest uproar of the night. People are now jumping up and down in excitement. It seems as if the clock just his midnight on New Years Day. The judge is banging his gavel, completely confused as to what is going on. Vinny turns to his family and raises his hands high in the air as if he just won a grand prize.

From deep within the crowd you hear a voice shout out with great pride... "That-a boy Vinny! Don't-a squeal on-a nobody!"