[Long] Two best friends reunite...

Dan, a former alcoholic gets a random call from his best friend from college, Bobby.

"Dan, I'm in town! We haven't seen each other in a minute. Meet me at the bar in an hour."

Dan tells his wife he is going to meet Bobby, and is warned not to drink any alcohol because of their previous relationship problems involving his alcoholism.

Bobby and Dan hit it off like old times. They begin slamming shots, shooting pool and partying as hard as they did in college. It gets to the point where Dan loses all control and completely binge drinks.

As the bartenders make last call, Dan becomes nauseous and vomits all over himself.

"Shit - my wife is going to kill me. She just bought me this shirt, and she is going to know I've been drinking. How the hell am I going to explain this to her?" Dan says.

Bobby smiles calmly, puts his hand on Dan's shoulder and says..

"No worries man, I got your back! Take this $50 bill and give it to your wife. Tell her that I couldn't control my drinking and barfed on you. You can also tell her that is why you reek so badly of alcohol. You can blame it all on me, I'll take the heat for you man."

A sense of relief comes over Dan, and he agrees it will work. He arrives home at 3am, where his wife is sitting awake on the couch waiting for him.

She says with angst in her voice "Honey, what the HELL have you been up to? And what happened to that shirt I just bought you?! I smell alcohol!!!"

Dan hands her a $100 bill and explains..

"I'm sorry Honey, Bobby can't control his drinking and I had to stay until the bar closed to make sure he got a cab alright. He ended up throwing up all over my shirt. BUT, he wanted me to give you $50 to apologize and to pay for a new shirt".

His wife, confused looks at him and says "Then why did you hand me $100?"

Dan says:

"I think he shit my pants too."