Lil' Arty

After being married to a total bitch for nearly 35 years, Steve decided enough was enough. He knew that she would never grant him a divorce, being the bitch she was, so Steve decided to take matters into his own hands put an end to his wife, Permanently! Of course, Steve didn’t want the blame placed on his hands for the murder, so he sought a Hitman!



A few nights later, Steve met his buddy at the local bar and he started talking about how he was going to hire a contract killer to take care of his wife. His friend suggested a local guy who does a great job, “Lil Arty”. Steve seemed impressed with the initial recommendation and made plans to meet Arty in person.



2 nights later, he met him behind the bar. He was barely 4ft high but he looked like he had seen alot of action in the Gulf, Iraq, etc.



“For the equipment, killing, disposal and cleaning, we’re looking at a solid $8000!” Arty said.



“$8000! I can’t afford that! I don’t even have that much in savings!”



Arty looked pissed, clenching his fists, desperate for the job. “Well, what have you got on you right now?”



Steve fumbled through his pockets and found a mere $1 bill and a quarter. With a gulp, he handed the dough over to Arty.



Arty scowled, obviously pissed. But he was desperate for any job. “Fine!” he said. “I’ll do the job, but you get me $8000 by sunrise or I’ll be coming for you!”



Steve gulped and nodded, handing a picture of his Wife to Arty. “She should be in Wal-Mart doing the groceries. You could get her there!”



Arty grumbled and drove off to the Wal-Mart. He parked, got out and watched the people come and go from the store. Then he saw her! The fat bitch strolled into the store and made her way to the grocery section.



After about 40 min’s, he cornered her in the Frozen food aisle. He grabbed his Piano Wire and choked her. She struggled, screamed, but she soon was dead. He lifted her up and threw her in beside the Frozen Pea’s, but it was too late as he saw a Clerk witnessing the whole thing. Like a bullet, Arty ran up to him, wrapped his hands around his scrawny neck and snapped it like a twig. He too was dead. But it was all over for him, as out of nowhere, 4 cops showed up and booked him.



The next day, the local papers ran a headline.



**“Arty Chokes! 2 for $1.25 in Wal-Mart”**