Coachella: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Coachella: Coachella.
Me: Coachella who?
Coachella: Your girlfriend of almost 3 years, who you completely changed your life for, is going to go to Coachella. Then she's going to think that she's more in touch with her feelings and she's going to leave you when she gets back. You're going to quit your miserable job and be unemployed in the new city that you moved to so you could be together with her and you're going to feel like a dumb, poor idiot. This will all take place in a week, you pussy.
Me:Oh. Good one.
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