Just wrote this one about my esteemed profession. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the aforementioned task in a timely and efficient manner within the structure in which said bulb is housed and being dependent on the following variables:

Whereas it should be taken in to account that ceiling heights may differ significantly from fixture to fixture, the altitude of defective bulb must first be determined upon which point the lawyer or lawyers shall at their option choose an appropriate means of elevation including but not limited to a chair, stepstool, table, or ladder;

Whereas the height of said means of elevation may require support depending upon the altitude, trajectory, and any encumbrances including but not limited to furniture, stairs, load bearing members, and columns; and

Whereas the bulb must be disposed of depending on the type of bulb in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes;

The answer to the aforementioned question can only be answered in one way.

It depends.

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