Two American astronauts zoom off to the moon, they land on the moon safely and hop out of the module. They do some routine work, collecting rock samples, checking temperatures and the like.
Then one of them sees a man in the distance sitting on a deck chair wearing a handkerchief with knots on each corner on his head licking an ice cream. He turns to the other astronaut and says "Who the hell is that!". So they go over and one of the astronauts asks "Who are you!?" to which the man replied "Can't you see? I'm God!".
"Well God, what are you doing here in such a desolate place like the moon?" said one of the astronauts.
"I'm on holiday! Can't you tell?" replies God.
"Well why the moon?" said the astronaut.
"Well it's like this, last year I went to Mars: All these funny little green men running about all over the place, I didn't like it. The year before that I went Venus: Far too hot." Says god.
Now this astronaut had an idea, he thought " If I can get him to come back to Earth with us I might be able make some money out of this, play it of as the second coming off Jesus!"
So the astronaut asks God "Why don't you come to Earth, it's much nicer down here there's warm blue sea's and blue skies and long golden beaches - a beautiful planet! I can give you a lift!"
To this god tells them "Earth! Don't talk to me about that place! I went there over 2000 years ago, got some woman in the pudding club and they're STILL talking about it now!"
*I've more or less transcribed this for you word for word but my dad's British and didn't say 'got her pregnant' instead he said 'got her in the pudding club' which I have no idea if people outside the UK will know what that means but he was adamant that it stayed in.*
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