Contacted by a panicked FIFA, Bond is informed that they have recieved a demand for $1bn, with a threat to grusomely murder top footballers every day until it is paid. The note says that the best player in the world will be fed into a woodchipper at midnight.
"Oh dear" says James. "That'll be Messi"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.