Its the most wonderful time to jerk off (adaption of most wonderful time of the year).

It's the most wonderful thing of the year

With the teen girls calling

And ones legs a sprawling

It's the most wonderful thing of the year

It's the hap-happiest feeling of all

With those hand and lube greetings and gay happy endings

When escorts come to call

It's the hap-happiest feeling of all

There'll be lube for a jacking

Semen for snacking

And wanking on through the day

There'll be scary rape stories

And tales of the glories of

College girls long, long ago

It's the most wonderful thing of the year

There'll be much hand a rubbing

And vids of night clubbing

And ads about loved ones near

It's the most wonderful thing of the year

There'll be parties for fucking

Dicks for a sucking

And lesbians out in the snow

There'll be sexy school stories

And tales of the glories of

Jocks long, long ago

It's the most wonderful thing of the year

There'll be much meat beating

And girlfriends a cheating

And mommy’s now near

It's the most stressful time

Yes the most rushed time

Oh the most friction filled time

Of the year