It's late on St. Patrick's day and a man is one of the last people at an Irish pub that's ready to close up. [NSFW]

Before heading out, the man goes to the bathroom to relieve himself.

He walks up to a urinal and notices that standing at the next urinal over is a very short person wearing s green coat, shoes with golden buckles, and a green top hat. He also can't help but notice that this little man appears to have an enormous penis.

The man in green sees the guy looking at him and says, in a thick Irish accent, "You see someting you like, lad?"

The man is embarrassed and apologizes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare. It's just, I hope you don't mind me asking (he's a bit drunk), but how is it that a guy of your size is so well endowed?"

The little man lets out a mischievous giggle. "Well you see," he says, "it's because I'm a Leprechaun. That's just how we are."

The man laughs. "Well seeing you're a Leprechaun, aren't you supposed to grant me wishes or something?"

"Aye" The Leprechaun responds. "You get t'ree"

The man, not believing, plays along. "OK. I wish for a bag of gold."

"Granted." says the leprechaun. He reaches into his coat and produces a little bag filled with gold coins, and hands it over.

The man, looking into the bag, is shocked. "What the..." Unable to believe his eyes, he decides to test the little man again. "OK. my next wish is for my hair to grow back." (he's bald)

The Leprechaun says, "bend your head down and I'll make it so." And he rubs his hands together vigorously and lays them on top of the man's bald head. "By tomorrow morning, you'll notice that your hair has started to grow back.

Already the man can feel his head tingling, and he starts to feel overcome with joy over his good fortune.

"One more" the leprechaun says.

"Alright, the man says, his heart racing. OK, for my last wish, I want a penis as big as yours."

The leprechaun smiles and scratches his chin. "Well, lad, I can make that come true, but it's a wee bit more involved, and you aren't going to like it." His eyes sparkle with delight. "You'll have to let me fuck you in the arse."

This comes as something of a shock to the man, but he looks at the bag of gold in his hand, feels his tingling head, looks around the empty bathroom and says, "well, as long as nobody knows, and it's over quickly."

"Not a soul will be told" the leprechaun says.

So the guy turns around, pulls his pants down, and the leprechaun starts going for it.

A minute or so in, the man starts to moan, "Oooooh god... yes. Oh fuck!"

The Leprechaun is encouraged and starts to grunt louder, "Mmmmmm uhn, uhn, uhn." He traces the man's inner thigh and then gently cups his testicles.

The man gasps out, "NNnnnngggaaaahhhh oooOooOoo yeah..." and starts convulsing as he ejaculates. He feels the leprechaun cumming inside him and grips the sides of the urinal to keep himself from collapsing to the floor in ecstasy.

After a moment, the leprechaun is finished. He leans his weight against the man, pushing himself deep one last time, then falls forward onto the man's lower back.

The bathroom is silent but for the synchronized breath of the sudden lovers. They are frozen together, afraid to move lest it signal time to resume its inexorable march to reality, neither of them quite ready to let the moment end, neither of them yet willing to come to terms with the meaning of what had just occurred.