having broken away from the Catholic church, Henry had angered many adherents both domestic and abroad, and sought to shut down any institutions that swore their allegiance to the Catholic church before he had a revolt on his hands.
He attempted to completely squash all churches, monasteries and friaries that remained devoutly Catholic. While for most he could simply cut off their ability to function by seizing their assets, but the Friaries in England were mostly self-sufficient with large gardens where the Friars grew the majority of their own food while sustaining the rest on the patronage of their followers. In protest to the King, the Friars started gifting their patrons with beautiful flowers - creating a symbol of resistance against the edicts of the King.
Furious, Henry made a Royal decree barring Friar's from growing or gifting flowers, but the decree was completely ignored by the Friars and in fact the symbol of the flower grew more powerful. Desperate to put an end to it, Henry called upon the most feared man in England - Hugh the Executioner. Hugh was a special import who had made a name as a effective killing machine in France, and had been brought to England for the execution of Anne Boleyn. A couple things made Hugh unique. For one, he had a massive stature, but more importantly Hugh opted to use a long-sword instead of the Axe which was more common at the time. Most terrifying of all, Hugh did not wear an executioners mask, but instead enjoyed the fact that people could recognise him as the face of death.
The king sent Hugh around to the Friaries with his royal decree, and with each Friary Hugh would bang the hilt of his long-sword against the door before attaching a copy of the decree with a sharp dagger. Within days, the flowers disappeared from the streets and the Friaries began to shutter their doors.
What is the moral of the story?
*Only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars!*
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.